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Tips and Advice
The Four A's of Anger Management
- AWARENESS - Recognize that anger is a natural human feeling.
Everyone feels it, we just don't all express it appropriately.
- ACCEPTANCE - You are responsible for your own feelings. If you
expect someone else to be responsible for your happiness, you will
always be disappointed.
- ANALYSIS - You get angry at what happened,
separate the situation from the person. The other person didn't
"make" you angry.
- APPROPRIATE ACTION - Keep your life clear! Deal
with issues assertively when they arise, when you feel the feelings
- not after hours/days/weeks of stewing about it. It's OK to get
angry, BUT the trick is to develop a positive, assertive style of
expressing it. You, and those around you, will appreciate it.
Helpful link:
If you feel you are suffering
from depression a physician should be consulted so that the
condition can be evaluated. Some causes of depression are:
- Biological Disorders - caused by a chemical imbalance involving a
deficiency in one or more neurotransmitters (messengers) in the
brain.
- Heredity
- Personality Types - pessimists, people with
low self esteem and are easily stressed-out are more prone to become
depressed.
- Stressful events - loss of loved ones, financial
difficulties and failures are some of the stressful events that can
cause depression.
- Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) - may feel
depressed in winter due to the lack of sunlight.
The three most common types of depression are:
- Major
Depressive Disorder (unipolar) - An episode of depression that
happens on and off throughout one's life. The episode can
occur suddenly or be triggered by a life event. The episode
interferes with normal functioning and my last for months or
years.
- Dysthymia - This is not as severe as major depressive disorder. It
may last for years and keeps the person from reaching his/her
potential.
- Manic Depression or Bipolar - Usually inherited, this
disorder consists of highs (mania) and lows (depression). A person
with mania usually suffers from insomnia, over confidence and
increased energy.
Depression is the most common mental disorder and
can affect people of all ages. It is also the most treatable.
Depression doesn't have to ruin lives.
For more information and other links Contact:
The First step towards financial recovery is
recognizing the problem. Think of your financial situation in the
past 12 months and answer the following questions:
- Are you near,
at, or over the limit on your credit card?
- Have you missed monthly
credit payments?
- Are you paying bills with money that was meant
for something else, such as your savings?
- Are you using credit to
pay for day-to-day expenses such as food and clothing?
- Do you
worry when you go to use your credit card that the transaction will
be denied?
- Are you using one credit card to pay off another?
- Have you cancelled auto, medical or life insurance just to make ends
meet?
- Are you working overtime or moonlighting to meet current
financial obligations?
- Are you living on your bank overdraft?
- Have you been denied further credit because of your present credit
rating?
If you have answered yes to any of these questions, you
would probably benefit from professional debt counseling from your
Credit Counseling Service. For more information, contact
1-888-204-2221.
Helpful links:
- Http://www.k3c.org - K3C Community
Counseling Centres in Kingston - then click on Credit Counseling
Head Lice Treatment #1
- Mix a 50:50 solution
of Mineral Oil and Vinegar,
- Massage into solution into hair.
Cover for one hour with shower cap and then shampoo out with regular
shampoo.
This treatment can be repeated as often as required. The
Vinegar detaches the nits from the hair shaft while the oil
suffocates any live lice and makes for easy and smooth combing out
of any detached nits and dead lice. (from The Hospital for Sick
Children in Toronto, Dr M. Ipp, Pediatrician).
Head Lice Treatment
#2
- Purchase the largest container of hair Gel – any kind of
inexpensive product that is brightly coloured will do.
- Completely cover dry hair, put on shower cap and leave overnight
if possible. Nits will then show up blue and can be combed out with
the special lice comb.
Head Lice Treatment #3 (from a desperate mother – and it really
works!)
- Purchase large bottle of inexpensive hair conditioner. Completely
cover dry hair with the conditioner. Put on shower cap and leave for
at least an hour. The nits will be smothered and can be combed out.
Announce the divorce
- both parents should tell all
the children together
- be as honest as you can about why the
separation is occurring children need to hear that they aren't
responsible, nor can they rescue the marriage
- give the child
permission to love both parents
- update the reasons for the divorce
as the years go by, repeat the reason for the divorce
Explain the new situation
- be honest about what changes you know
will occur, i.e. moving, changing schools
- tell the kids the only
thing that won't change is your love for them. Don't argue or
bad-mouth each other in front of the children
- this is cruel and
unfair- if it happens, apologize immediately
Custody
- ideally, children should have access to both parents
- don't let the custody battle hurt the children in any way
maintain
child support
- getting even with an ex-spouse by withholding money
hurts the children. They deserve and need the standard of living
that they had in a two-parent family
Co-parenting
- agree on children's routines, activities and
upbringing
- if you can't tolerate each other, get a mediator: a
neutral friend, relative or professional
The non-custodial parent
- make yourself available to your
children
- don't play Santa Claus all the time
- familiarize
yourself with your child's "normal" routine. If she has ballet
classes on Saturday, take her there, not to McDonald's.
Cross-sex custodial parent
- consider a Big Brother/Sister or
same sex companion for the child
Family and friends
- keep up contact with both sides of the
child's family the child has lost a live-in parent, not his entire
family
Discourage reconciliation fantasies
I CAN AND I WILL:
- Look for ways to expand my understanding of
children.
- Listen patiently to what children have to say and try to
answer the questions they ask.
- Resist impulses to interrupt or
contradict children when they try to share their ideas and opinions.
- Seek to be as courteous, fair, just and kind to children as I would
have them be to me.
- Refrain from laughing at children's mistakes or
resorting to shame and ridicule when they displease.
- Avoid tempting
children to lie or steal. I can try to demonstrate by all I say and
do that honesty is the policy that produces happiness.
- Hold my
tongue when I am out of sorts instead of irritably lashing out at
children.
- Remember that children are children, and not expect of
them the judgment of adults.
- Provide all possible opportunities for
children to learn to make their own decisions and to wait on
themselves.
- Grant children all their reasonable requests, but have
the courage to deny them privileges I know will do them harm.
- Strive
to be a leader and teacher of children instead of a dictator.
- Think
and act in ways that will make me deserve to be loved and respected
and imitated by children.
Companies in the New Millennium
Companies that are going to thrive
in the new millennium will be those that practice the following
principles.
- People are precious. Recognize the intrinsic value of
everyone who is part of the organization.
- We have to care more
deeply and more often for each other in our organizations.
- Speak
ill of no one, but speak the good that you know about everyone. The
tongue is a powerful instrument.
- Learn to say, "I'm sorry."
Making mistakes is not failing. Quitting is failing.
- Say "thank
you" often. Only 7% of the American work force has received a "thank
you" in the past six months.
- Realize the importance of
recognition. We're all starving to be recognized and appreciated.
Recognition is one source of emotional food.
(Dr. Hugh Drouin,
Family Service Ontario)
Simple Tips to Protect your children on the internet
- Talk with your children about protecting their personal
information online, and why this is important. Safety-proofing
your home computer will only be effective if you ensure your
children keep safe habits when they access computers away from
home.
- Keep the computer in the family room, or a high-traffic room – NOT in their
bedroom
- If you have a
webcam, make sure it’s unplugged when it’s not being used
- Tell your kids
to NEVER fill out online forms that ask for personal information
without your permission
- If your kids have accounts on Myspace or Facebook or some
other social networking site, set up your own account and have
them add you as a “friend” so that you can check what
information they make available
- On these networking sites, advise your children not to
add anyone as a “friend” that they don’t know in person
- For children under 12, have a family account set up that
friends can send emails to.
- For children who are ready for their own email accounts,
make sure they pick a user name that doesn’t identify them,
their age, or their gender
- Advise children NEVER to meet someone they met on the
internet without their parents approval and without you being
there to ensure who they met really is who they said they are
- Have a conversation with your kids about the kinds of
internet sites that aren’t appropriate to access. For example, sites
that contain violence, pornography, hate, and illegal and dangerous
content.
- Talk to your kids about online harassment, and let them know
that if they receive messages that are threatening or that make them
uncomfortable, to come to you to help resolve the issue
For more tips and information on how to protect your family
online, check out the following websites:
http://www.internet101.ca/en/chatlingo.php - Confused
about the acronyms your children are using? Here’s a comprehensive
list of terms that are commonly used in a chat-room environment.
http://www.internet101.ca/en/agreement.php - To assist
parents in setting boundaries with their children on internet
access, Internet101.ca has created this “Internet Agreement” that
applies to both parents and children.
http://www.media-awareness.ca – Media Awareness Network is
a Canadian non-profit organization that has been pioneering the
development of media literacy programs. They promote media and
Internet education by producing online programs and resources,
working in partnership with Canadian and international
organizations, and speaking to audiences across Canada and around
the world.
http://www.cybertip.ca – This is Canada’s National Tipline
for reporting the online sexual exploitation of children. It also
provides the public with information, referrals, and other resources
to help Canadians keep their children safe while on the Internet.
http://www.kidsintheknow.ca/app/en/inet_safety_quiz_start
– Kids in the Know is an interactive safety education program for
increasing the personal safety of children and reducing their risk
of sexual exploitation. This link takes you to a quiz that will rate
how well you’re protecting your children from online risks, and
provides advice on how to increase protection specific to the
answers you’ve given.
http://www.safecanada.ca – The Government of Canada
website providing links to information and services on public safety
in Canada. It’s a good jumping-off place to find safety information
on a variety of subjects, including bullying, internet safety, and
criminal activity and policing.
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